Thank you, New York Press, for saying what I've often thought but haven't been able to articulate. In the most recent of their annual "50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers" features, "comedian" David Cross comes in at number 19. He was beat only by the likes of Moby, Janeane Garofalo and Rupert Murdoch.
CALL IT HUMOR for slow hipsters: Cross is condescending, meandering, undisciplined and...not funny. His HBO comedy special opens with him screaming a lot and pretending to speak Italian. If only Andrew Dice Clay could have jumped out of the front row with two sets of brass knuckles. His new DVD, Let America Laugh, follows him cross-country as his smug brand of humor falls on deaf ears and loud mouths. He's literally cursed off the stage in Little Rock—a show he likens offstage to "babysitting retarded puppies." Apparently it never occurred to Cross that he got the cane not because they couldn't handle his acidic New York wit—er, he's from Georgia—but because even hicks have taste. To understand why Cross requires a beatdown, imagine Jeff Foxworthy working his more "down home" jokes at the Apollo.