Thank you, New York Press, for saying what I've often thought but haven't been able to articulate. In the most recent of their annual "50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers" features, "comedian" David Cross comes in at number 19. He was beat only by the likes of Moby, Janeane Garofalo and Rupert Murdoch.


19
David Cross
Comedian

CALL IT HUMOR for slow hipsters: Cross is condescending, meandering, undisciplined and...not funny. His HBO comedy special opens with him screaming a lot and pretending to speak Italian. If only Andrew Dice Clay could have jumped out of the front row with two sets of brass knuckles. His new DVD, Let America Laugh, follows him cross-country as his smug brand of humor falls on deaf ears and loud mouths. He's literally cursed off the stage in Little Rock—a show he likens offstage to "babysitting retarded puppies." Apparently it never occurred to Cross that he got the cane not because they couldn't handle his acidic New York wit—er, he's from Georgia—but because even hicks have taste. To understand why Cross requires a beatdown, imagine Jeff Foxworthy working his more "down home" jokes at the Apollo.

Here's a link to an essay about my all-time favorite film director, Whit Stillman. Why is Barcelona his only movie available on DVD?

"You have to sleep late when you can, and all your bad days will end."

I'm trying my damnedest to follow these words to live by, but, shit, its only tuesday.

I got a ticket last week for my car inspection sticker being two months expired. If I get it inspected within 10 days I don't have to pay it. I took my car last night and failed the inspection because there wasn't enough tread on my right rear tire. So now I have to buy a new tire to replace one that isn't even flat (yet) then return to the place to have them agree that, yes, that brand new tire does indeed have enough tread on it. Also they didn't like my windshield wipers. And I thought a hippy mechanic would be cool. Fucker.

This weekend was all about doing nothing. Friday night? Nada (besides watching UT lose in the sweet 16). Saturday? The most frustrating and emasculating attempt at getting a bbq going ever. We had our chili dogs eventually, though. Later I watched half of the Godfather and went to bed. Sunday? Late afternoon band practice, the Sopranos and Home Movies. Do you notice a pattern here?

Actually, later on sunday night I went to Emo's for a bit to see Okkervil River. My friend Howard is now playing with them and I've managed never to see them since he's been in the band. It was quite good. Howard played on The Wisdom Teeth CD which has been lost in limbo for the past 1 1/2 years. He's also in Little Grizzly.

Afterwards I ended up at the Caucus Club obstinately for a drink which always turns into two or three. That's ok, though, cause I got paid today.

Yes, I am at work at 7am on a saturday morning. Ugh. They entice me with homemade torillas and overtime pay. If I can stand this for a few hours it'll have been worth it. I didn't go out last night anyway. All I did was watch UT lose to Xavier then read and go to bed.

Amazingly enough, while I was flipping channels during commercials in the game, VH1 classics was playing a tv performance by King Crimson in the early 70's. That's not something you see everyday on tv. What is even weirder is that early I had been listening to to a live KC album from that same time period while I was reading. I hadn't listened to that stuff in at least a year. Yesterday was just King Crimson day.

Half Price Books is having a 20% off sale. Go now. Run!

You are Juan Moreno!!


Which Completely Random Person Are You!!
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I am seriously considering working some overtime today. I am not one to usually stay at work after being able to leave but I'm considering it. Seriously.

After flying through two VS Naipaul books I'm about half way through The Moon and Sixpence by W Somerset Maugham. The impetus for the Maugham reading was in the Naipaul book Half A Life in which the narrator's father once met Maugham while he (Maugham) was touring India and then gave his son the middle name Somerset.

I've turned into quite the fan of British lit of the last 100 years or so - both Amis's, Graham Greene, Naipaul (of Indian heritage, born and raised in Trinidad and educated in England - that counts as British to me) and now Maugham. In fact, my favorite two novels are now The End of the Affair and Lucky Jim. Brits, I find, have a great sense of humor and tremendous amount of style in their writing.

I didn't plan on going out last night, but sometimes you don't have a choice in these things.

At some point there will a more detailed accounting for the last week's activities but for now, here are a couple of lists...

Bands I (happily) Paid to See at SXSW*

Destroyer
Mission of Burma
They Might Be Giants (super secret special guests!)
Silkworm

Bands I Saw for FREE at SXSW*

Zykos
I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
Swearing at Motorists
American Analog Set
The Sword
The Walkmen
The Real Heroes
Second Cousin
Summer Hymns
Western Keys
Shearwater
Penelope Houston (of the Avengers)
Ken Stringfellow
Robyn Hitchcock
Iron & Wine

* There were actually many more in each of these categories but I've decided to only include the bands I liked so there will no mention of me having to sit through Preston School of Industry and Pretty Girls Make Graves in order to catch Mission of Burma.

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

Monday was the Ides of March and I failed to notice. Today I'm leaving work early and not coming back til monday. I'm gonna do my best to hit all the parties this week and now I don't have to worry about waking up early for work. Yay.

Since none of the blogs I've stumbled into reading on a regular basis update enough to satisfy my blog reading urges (that is, several times a day), I guess I'll go ahead and write in my own to tie me over.

Our town has been taken over for sxsw. Its been out of hand since last friday (when the film/multi-media fest started - music begins on wed). Maybe I forget every year, but I've noticed that I can't drive anywhere in town right now. Traffic is built up everywhere. When the music stuff starts I think I'm gonna either bike downtown or take the bus just so I can have one less headache. I'm also going to try to drink less - this week specifically, but also in general. It'll save me some $$ and also help reduce this gut that has been steadily expanding for the past few years.

There's a big pre-sxsw show at emos tonight that I was going to go to but I'm thinking I might just hold off a day before I start with all the crowds, etc. Its no one I'm dying to see although High On Fire would be fun. I'm just feeling a bit anti-social lately.

Huh? What? The whole south by southwest (hereby refered to as sxsw to save me from typing that out every time) shit hasn't really started yet but I'm already dead tired. Went out to the caucus last night for drinks. I never really had a good time but still managed to be out til 2am. This week in gonna be a killer. I'm looking forward to some good day parties. That's always the best part of sxsw - you don't have to deal with as much crap + free beer (usually) + nearly all the same bands. The best place (so far) to get the dl on the parties is at www.showlistaustin.com

Damn Right.

Heavy metal! You rock! It's mostly about the
music instead of lyrics for you...but you
channel most of the emotion through the lyrics!
Mosh pit for you! Just be careful you don't
give yourself a concussion with so much
headbanging...


What genre of rock are you?
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OK ladies and gents, The Soft Set is playing a Smiths tribute show tomorrow night at the Carousel Lounge (1110 east 52nd - near Cameron and 51st). Show starts at 9:30. Read what chronicle says (scroll down to third item). update: they seem to have changed the recommended page already seeing as we never get mentioned in the chronicle I'll leave the link there just in case.

I sure am glad folks who might be thought of as progressive love free speech so much. This from the sleater-kinney website...

"Urban Outfitters, the store dedicated to reselling your childhood back to you via nostalgia and irony based fashion, is selling a T-shirt that says:

"Voting is For Old People"

Unless you are under the age of 18, this shirt will be banned from all Sleater-Kinney shows.

ARE YOU REGISTERED TO VOTE?"

Isn't this an inane thing for people to get worked up about? I've been hearing about this for weeks. Its a goddamn t-shirt. Aren't there more important things in the world? People really need to learn when to pick their battles and how not to turn into flaming hypocrites.

I went to bed at 9:30 last night. I've been terribly exhausted lately. One good thing about that is that I got up early enough to come in early and get a bit of overtime. I can manage it early in the day but I can never seem to stay late. After 8-9 hours here I just HAVE to go home. I don't care how much you pay me.

Plus I was a bit hungover yesterday - which explains being so tired. Monday night Joe and I went to Lovejoy's for the end of happy hour and ended up staying til midnight or so. Actually we were pretty close to leaving at a decent worknight hour when we got pulled into a card game by a couple of cute sisters. Who am I to say no to such a thing? It was fun - by the end of the night more of their peeps had shown up and we were all drunkenly screaming about the game. I would have hated us if we weren't the ones making the noise.

Danielle gets here tomorrow to begin her yearly sxsw visit. I got an email from her the other day that kinda scared me. All it said was something like, "I can't wait to see you guys. Do you have blender?"

There's really not much at sxsw this year that excites me. The one have-to-see band is the reunited Mission of Burma at the matador showcase. The bad part is that they headline and it'll be crowded as hell so I'll have to get there early and sit through a bunch of, well, matador bands.

Reason Magazine's Hit & Run wins for the best blog entry title...
My Milkshake Brings Allah's Boys to the Yard

Note to people listing houses for rent in the statesman: If I wanted to waste my lunch hour looking at duplexes and apartments, I would have looked in that section of the paper instead of the section that said "Houses: Unfurnished".

Not that I'm in a huge hurry to move but I'm just getting kinda restless and moving is always a good way to change things up. Also, I want to live on my own which I've only ever done once, for about 9 months when I first moved to Austin. It was a disaster but I think I could give it another go. The rest of the time has been spent living with roommates which is nice and cheap but tends to get old. The big problem is that I DO NOT want to live in an apartment. I could survive a really crappy house, though.

Monday mornings always seem to come so soon. I had a pretty good weekend. Friday night was the Parts & Labour grand opening. I'm so proud of all my girls getting their shit together. After that we hit a party/house show on the east side. I only watched one band, called the Black, but I thought they were pretty damn good. Very 60's sounding but not retro - just good influences coming through.

Saturday we went to lovejoy's then to 710 to watch the real heroes. Drank alot but not as much as Joe or Amanda. I was feeling nostalgic so I bought us all flaming dr peppers at an awful college kid shot bar.

On sunday I laid around and read almost all day.

Today I'm at work. I'm gonna go check out a house for rent on my lunch break. I'm thinking of moving. I need a change.

Introverted (I) 62.07% Extroverted (E) 37.93% Realistic (S) 53.33% Imaginative (N) 46.67% Emotional (F) 51.61% Intellectual (T) 48.39% Easygoing (P) 53.13% Organized (J) 46.88% Your type is: ISFP You are a Specialist, possible professions include - bookkeeper, clerical supervisor, dental assistant, physical therapist, mechanic, radiology technologist, surveyor, chef, forester, geologist, landscaper designer, crisis hotline operator, teacher

Take Free Career Inventory Personality Test.

My hands and my breath smell like cilantro. It is my favorite herb. Does everyone have a favorite herb? I don't know but they should and it should cilantro.

I went to target on my lunch to get various household items but forgot to buy sugarless gum for while at work. I just started to pay off my dentist bill from a year and half ago so I figured maybe instead of chewing super sugary gumballs (which in turn keep me from drinking dr pepper all day) I would chew sugarless gum. But I forgot so perhaps not.

I was supposed to go watch Hope paint at some art show thing last night but I punked out. It was down on S. Congress in the middle of the whole first thursday thing. It was already raining and walking many, many blocks in the rain after finding parking just didn't sound good.

Then I was gonna go watch Scott play at the carousel lounge but once again I just couldn't do it. I really just wanted to jump in bed and read. Right now I'm in the middle of A House for Mr. Biswas by VS Naipaul. I've had this book for a while but just now started it. I think I was expecting something much more dense but its actually a very readable, compelling and funny book. While I'm only like 150 pages into, I feel safe in recommending it to one and all.
...

We're making the trek from Austin to Denton this saturday for some birthday fun. Saturday is Loren's and Sunday is SB's so that evening will be a combined effort. I like Denton. Its a surprisingly fun town. I used to want to move there just to live in smaller town and because I always have so much fun when I'm there. Then I realized that I have so much fun because I'm visiting. You always have fun when you're not from there. So anyway, that where we're going.

Tonight its the Parts and Labour grand opening (such nice girls) and then I think I'm gonna head over and watch Western Keys open for Spoon.

Holly's friend did aerobics as the band played last night at the carousel. I'm not really sure what I think about this, but I think its kinda cool. Also, the bartender lady scared Holly and I when going around gathering tips for the band. We had each already put in $1 but then either she forgot that we had just put money or just felt like being extra creepy/guilt inducing. All I have to say is that I think I spent more money on tips last night ($3-4 for the bar, $2 band) than I actually did on drinks so she should lay off. I know what its like to play a show and not get paid shit - its called tuesday night!

Yesterday I re-bought the Psychadelic Sounds of the 13th Floor Elevators. As my first copy was stolen out of my car, this doesn't count towards my buy the same albums three times limit. Joe and I have developed a rule/system by which if you have bought the same album three times and sold it twice, you are not allowed to sell it again. So far the only record that has met the criteria for me is the Afghan Whigs' Gentleman which is without a doubt one of the best records every made. But my point is that since the first copy of 13th Floor Elevators was stolen, this new one doesn't count towards my buy limit.

Note to self: When someone says "That girl is crazy," take their word for it.

Two, count 'em, two, cook outs in two days. It was a good weekend. Especially saturday (the day of the second cookout) over at Adam and Kiki's. I grilled a big ass steak, sat around talking with old friends, drank a crap load of beer and almost fell asleep in their rocking chair while listening to Abbey Road on the turntable. There were parties to go to afterward but I just went home and slept like the drunken, steak-filled baby I was.

Not much else happening. I got my jeep back from the shop friday only to discover on fri night that the turn signal didn't work. They fixed it real quick like during lunch today, though.